“Life immiates a game of chess, you may be the king or the pawn, but if you have the strategy that’s best, you may be the king or in this case the don.” Smashmouth’s Padrino


I wanted to try the photo feature. This is our marble chess set we had set up in the old house, I took this picture obviously many months ago while I was playing with my parent’s camera, just after erasing about a hundred of my sister’s pictures of her Ukraine trip. Ah, forgiveness …


I hope this experiment is a success. By the way, Lucy sent me a message in english, so I replied in spanish. Just talking to her is really neat. She has always had this effect, you can never be mad at her no matter how devious she can be with all that beginner’s luck. It was much harder than I thought, I need to be drilled in spanish just to keep from forgetting it! Luckily, that’s one thing I can use xanga for! How multi-tasketalented is this site!

BaskervilleTMed – When I woke up this morning blue, I could find little amusing to do. Nothing held my interest not for more than five minutes at best. On the unwritten list nothing remained done completed or finished. For that matter nor begun started or partially done. Worst yet, no more than an hour on the net. Wondering how the time to pass, finding indecision alas. The indecision does spread, traveling to hand from head. Unsure of what to do, my foot stumbles too. paralyzed and still, waiting for the hint of will. Can’t decide what to type,

BaskervilleT – I once read this book on memory. I was thinking about reading it again, but I forgot where I put it. I don’t like Aquafina, it tastes funny. I’ve been wondering what water is supposed to taste like. I have one of those indestructable MP3 Players, and I can’t figure out how I broke it. The news is depressing and so I went to HappyNews.com. It was so happy I had to change back to the regular news. I saw a picture from the 1950’s, apparently it won’t be feasable to own a home computers as many of its parts won’t be developed before 2000 and it’s the size of four refridgerators. They still haven’t told me what that thing that washed up on the beach was, but it looks a lot like a dinosaur. I’ve been to mexico, I stepped over the border and stepped back five minutes later. If you think that a road trip on american roads takes awhile, you’ve never been on a canadian road. All I can tell you that it wasn’t my fault, I would have told you that nobody did it, but he threatened to go on strike. I was going to give a speech when the union threatened to sue, so my boss told me not to say anything. Few people understood my unique brand of sign language and I think some were offended. I don’t have a big enough vocabulary to be policially correct, nor the patience now I think about it. Sometimes its better to tell it like it isn’t, but It’s best to always tell it like it is.

Bank Scr D, Barclay Open, Baskerville… – So I was thinking. A lot of people don’t care about people they don’t know and sometimes they don’t care about people the do know. Like I’m sitting in this state and somebody in Iowa may not care about me. I may not care about somebody is French Guinna. Really, they are dead to you and you are dead to them. Why go out of your way to come to their aide? The american way was once God’s Way. Today we just aren’t sure. Still, I’m not going to stick my neck out for billy. I don’t have to associate with him. If i do then my friends might think of me as uncool. I deffinately don’t want that. I had to tell four of my friends not to be my friend so I could have them as my friends. I don’t know who of the group were the bitterest about the whole thing. Look, brandon just jummped off of the playground toy. That’s a nasty wound. Oh? A broken bone and stitches. He deserved it. Don’t say dad around carly, she still cries. It’s only been three months. Look, this kid shane, he was in my kindergarten class, or was it first grade? Anyway nobody really liked him. Now that he’s dead they might talk. I can’t believe it though that a mother would allow that to happen right in front of her. What was she thinking? I’m glad I wasn’t anywhere near the park, they say that he was hurt bad. Annother accident? At Least I didn’t know either of them. Wow, now this is different, there was only one bomb scare this week, the other four days were drug busts at the high school. I heard it over the radio. He said he found the knife under the Push-Carousel. Did you feel that? It’s sad really, 168 people. I’ve not been to the wall yet. That’s not good, but at least they won’t have the same commotion six years ago about another bomb. Though I don’t think that they’ll stand too much longer. Ugh. State testing. More state testing. Lots more state testing, don’t these people have better things to do like teach? Now they upgrade that test? why couldn’t they have waited, I’m no longer smart enough. All of the above are a montage of events that occured during my twelve or thirteen years under compulsory public education. Not counting all of the “she’s pregnants”, “got an abortions”, “they suspensdeds” and a myriad of other daily gossip. As you can see, there were casualties in all sense of the word. I read somewhere that a guy had said “dying is the sweetest thing that can happen to you. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. The real challenge is actually living.” Actually living. It’s not living for yourself living on thrills and chills. It’s not the high from drugs, or the pleasure from certain company. You’ll have to discover for yourself what your answer is, but there is a place where there is always a seat saved just for you. There they’ll invite you every Sunday to this actual life. You may not accept the first Sunday, it might take several weeks or several months, but the more you attend the more you learn. If you live for yourself and yourself alone, it’s no good, you can never really please yourself. If you are in debt and can’t pay, then it’s no good, how are you going to get the children through college, you can’t. There are a lot of xanga names with void, pit, emptiness, you can throw everything in it and can’t fill it. You need God’s forgiveness because you were born on the wrong side and didn’t even know it. What could be better than this? So many are afraid just to look over there, but if you don’t, you’ll find that eternity is unbearable. If you do then you’ll see that answer. Billy, Shane, Brandon, Carly, Tina, and others I can just remember. Some are alive today, some are not. Seven schools and each of them were pretty much the same, only a few unique individuals stick out to me. But these kids weren’t really unique. Billy and Shane were labeled nerds, billy had leg braces and Shane also wore glasses. Carly and Tina were somewhat popular, Carly’s father commited suicide and Tina had a couple of older friends. Brandon was a little stupid. We put people into categories, I”ve been in almost every one of them, usually by association. It is better to have true friends and be the least popular than to be the most popular and alone because you know that every one of them who says “I’ll be there for you.” have only excuses when you really need them. I know the cycle and I broke it. I was only popular for a short duration and unpopular for a long one. When I was neither I had true friends, sort of. I had friends from every category but I found that most of them had better things to do then to tell me what time it was. Every single time I was in official trouble it was only because I reacted to what other kids did to me and I was the one who was caught. If it is the same case with these kids who were bullied its no wonder we have the troubles we have. If I were to give the schools a grade, I would fail them all. They deserve it because without failure they would not work for the approval they need. The nurse had to have seen shane’s bruises and reported them, but who listened? Nobody stops something stupid in progress. Nobody stands in the middle of the street in front of two fast cars yelling “IF YOU RACE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!” Because usually they don’t. But if you are there when one car looses control into tree or a house causing death for a while you blame yourself. If you really cared about anything you would get up and do something about it. A friend once told me. I answered “I guess I don’t care.”  

BallonDRo…- So I was going to go on a post about the evils of my generation when I realized that there is already enough of that. Now I’m just listening to sermons from other preachers in my denomination whom I’ve neither heard of nor met ever before. We are an amazing amount of resources as christians, thousands of churches are willing to give you their opinions on any verse of the bible, we could put the smartest 25 of them, lock them in a room with a lot of pen and paper and open the door a year later to find that they wrote a “What I think the Bible really meant on that subject Bible” and commentaries how that was right, or wrong or clarify what the other guys met. As much good as that would do, there is even more resources on reaching people. You could have a ministry named after you, or you name it after the people you intend to save.

Aura – Not a choice font for a long post …


Baby Kruffy – Ditto


BalloonDExtBold – Better, the other two aren’t really good fonts for posting. I have a game you can beat at a level that is a little under half what I am now, and even less if you’re adept at the game. I hope to get to a point where that number is about a third of what my level will be. But now it is very difficult to gain a level as experience required is 145,000 and the two bosses that will allow me to gain the most experience total 8000. If I get 10,000 each time I attempt to fight the greater of the bosses by solving the lair then it would take about 14 trips. That would get boring quickly. Ok, so maybe it’s closer to seven, but I’ve never been too good at math, nor the formulas required to get a correct answer. So the obvious answer is why don’t I cheat? One I don’t have a gameshark and two I don’t believe in cheating that could ruin the cartrage system permanently usually. Three, there are few if any cheats and none of them are automatically level up. Four, a friend with this game and a game shark had characters whose levels were “99” but stats were “10”. It’s not an easy game, so I don’t expect increasing my level to be any easier. I’ve already logged 128:30 gameplay time and I expect to reach 999:99 before I’m finished. Coins? currently maxed. ITems? only the cursed ones are better. Oddly, life is like this. All of the easy ways open to me look easy now, but are difficult later. anything worthwhile takes alot of time. I can’t cheat life, but I can cheat myself, but why would I want to when others will do that? WHat will happen when your 100% is actually 10%? Why should your check reflect the greater of the two when your work is the letter of the two? Games are sometimes like life, and this game has more than just these lessons.

Ashley Crawford – It doesn’t matter either way, the ends just don’t meet and two and two just don’t make four. I could go to college, improve spanish, and become a missionary but how effective will I be without being called? Zero. I could get a job get a house and live the ranch life, but It wouldn’t take me far and It requires more money than a decade of work. The only real thing I can do at this point is wait and pray however long that would be. Sure I’ll do little things along the way, but I can’t afford anything, staying, leaving, working, not working, this is a dillema if I ever saw one.


Ashley Inline – Mumps in Iowa ( and other states now), Bubonic Plague in California, These and a couple of others that we now think of something that’ll never happen to us or somebody we know and we are shocked when it does. The Youth of our nation are apparently invincible. What are we thinking? Teenagers are not adults, but sometimes are acting that because the title applies they are free from common sense. Wouldn’t most of our troubles be eliminated if we had somebody smack us for every dumb thing?  How many friends would be alive today if we had said something like “You know that I’m not trying to be an adult on you or anything, but you’ve got no future doing that sort of thing. You’re not only an adult, but a parent, you are no longer looking out for yourself, but if your only purpose is to look out for that child then you’ll find you’ll get alot more out of it than from drinking/racing/drugging/whatever…” Or something to that effect but I know that we’ve lost too many to accidents because they or somebody else was doing something dumb. We get countless e-mail forwards of some sad story or another, but we have to remember that it is common enough that you or somebody you know could be the subject of the next forward. It looks like it’s about time for my exit, but remember they may never thank you for saving them from themselves, but years from now they might remember how you were a true  friend.

There are a lot of sci-fi movies that try to guess whatever our future is going to be:


The movies in which humans are vermin, slaves, batteries, all of the above and dead. The movies in which a catastrophic event has occured to change the way society lives, ie in one big city. The movies in which an officer travels through time to apprehend a suspect. The movies in which people play killer games. The movies in which crime and justice are dealt in an unfair manner by todays standards. The movies in which humans are ruled by machines or monkeykind. The movies in which humans are in space. The movies in which the army’s future is addressed.The movies in which we have a hopeful future.


It is a big list, but the thing is, most of the plots will never relisitically occur. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that some will. Revelations spells out what to expect at the end, but until then I figure we’ll some some interesting things come to pass.

Arial Rounded MT Bold – I’m thinking about going to the family business. I could start one of my own and it would therefore be a family business, which is one of our family businesses. Or I could get into the other one, ranching. We’ve always ranched on a small scale, but it would be interesting if we upped it from five acres to twenty or so. Since I can’t afford to do either right off of the bat, I’ll have to get a job and save up some money. It’d be nice, you know, rolling hills, trails, trees, a pond, a garden, wild honeysuckle and blackberries, pecan trees and crest celosia would hopefully grow there. A long the drive would be flowering trees, white and yellow alternating, with a light sweet scent to welcome you to the Best of Then and Now (Dude) Ranch – the dude part being only sometimes. And no it won’t be like that old Nickelodeon show Hey Dude. But I know from experience that little I plan actually occurs and never occurs as was planned.


Artistik – I also wanted to post about our lack of successful holidays and birthdays. I guess its because times are changing. For a few birthdays these last two years we haven’t been able to all get together so instead we go to King’s Garden whenever there is three of us. Why is it when something doesn’t go somebody’s way on a holiday they manage to ruin it for us all? I know that as much as my family hides it, we walk with our emotions on a fine razor and we’ve scars from the failed footing. Except for me. I am pretty emotionless. I learned how to be so I wouldn’t fight so much and now I can’t figure how to unlearn it. Maybe my day will come when the norm is shifted.