And Now For Something Entirely Different

Tahoma – Randy knew it at a young age. It was always inside of him. It would become his future one day and he wanted to do everything possible to hide it. Every weekend, he would go out and practice. He was getting pretty good by the time he was ten and others would seek him out for his skills when he was fifteen. Then something unimagineable happened. It became okay. Now that he was seventeen he didn’t have to hide it any longer. He had been born a thief. Now everybody was becoming one, it was great. Except for one thing. Now that everybody was stealing from each other it was annoying. Now Randy was the best of them and well respected, so he usually got a bigger share. He couldn’t understand the frustrations of his parents or the utter embarrasment of his grandparents.

Even worse, there were those in the churches who seemed to condemn the members of the Thieves Quarter. Every parade they had it seemed one or two preachers would read out loud from their book. Sometimes the police had to come out and rescue the roughed-up preachers. Sometimes they chased off the preachers and bribed Randy not to rob them. You could never quite tell. Eventually the thieves had managed the impossible, they had bought a few congressmen who were all set to rewrite the laws and soften the punishment for thievery. (For even though it was okay, some old police officers would use old laws and more than a few thieves had been booked for a stay at the big house.) All the thieves had marched on Washington D.C. and were all set to watch the new law signed into effect. Soon even the preachers’ “Thou Shalt Not Steal” would be silenced. For on the last page of that law, condemning people would be punished with a two-week stay in jail. Soon all preachers would put up or shut up.

However, one can never really know a politician’s aim. What was expected to be a five minute speech extolling the virtues of the new bill turned into a record fillibuster and no vote could be taken on the very last session of that law-making year. Several of the thieves, Randy among them, were dragged before the representatives and were grilled. Finally, Randy asked a question of that politician, “Why have you betrayed us?”

“Sonny, I was all set to vote along with this here doodad and enjoy a pretty hefty bonus, but during your big march I noticed some of the thieves break formation and break into many houses along the route. Soon so many thieves had decended upon my street and into my house, I realized my peril. As it is, we have the greatest gathering of criminals on one island than at any other point in history. I’ve called in favors and soon every law enforcement officer in two states as well as every single one of them stationed on this island will have finished gathering the last of your friends outside. There is a greater law yet, something that not even we would be able to change and you’ve got to answer to it.” The politician answered him.

“I don’t believe in that law! It doesn’t apply to me!” Randy screamed as he was cuffed and dragged out of the room.

“If that kid were ever a better class of thief, he just may have the makings of a politician yet.” The politician said to himself as the meeting was dismissed.

(Now the Bible says that with some dyed-in-the-wool sinners they approve of their own sins and the sins of other sinners. It doesn’t matter if its thievery, lust, or anything else in the book. In this day and age, many a sinner would do whatever possible to keep people from cracking open that book in their prescence. The truth is an offensive thing when you’re holding onto a lie. Still, there is a greater law that all of us are going to answer to. What will your answer be?)


3 thoughts on “And Now For Something Entirely Different

  1. Pingback: My Worst Post, Ever. | TheUnmaskedAvenger

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    • Just to make it perfectly clear; I no longer believe now as I did when I wrote this – these words from eight years ago were those of a young adult still deeply ingrained into

        a theology of latent aversion masked with a veneer of love

      . Nothing in this post is anything like love (1 Corinthians 14) ought to have been; I was not kind, I was boasting, I was prideful, I was dishonoring strangers and painting them all with the same brush without getting to know them and giving them a chance to prove me wrong, I was keeping records of wrong, I was delighting in evil and rejoicing in a lie. I was not protecting others, but exposing them to danger. I was not trusting others, but teaching others that they couldn’t be trusted. I was not hoping for the best for them; like Jonah at Ninevah, I was waiting for their destruction ready to cheer God on while I ate popcorn and enjoyed the show. I was not persevering in anything but tearing them down. I failed them because I didn’t love them. Because I didn’t love them, I treated them worse than they deserved.
      When I really got a chance to get know some of them and learned how to love them as Jesus loves them, to see them as a part of all of us and I learned that any ill that befalls them also hurts me as well. Consider this:

      ‘No Man is an Island’

      No man is an island entire of itself; every man
      is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
      if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
      is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
      well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
      own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
      because I am involved in mankind.
      And therefore never send to know for whom
      the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
      – John Donne


...Anyway, that's just how I feel about it ... What do you think?

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