Looking Down

I’m one of the few whose fear of hights stem from a fall I had taken years ago. A friend of mine had invited me to spend the weekend with her and her parents at their cabin. My stuff had been stowed away at the upstairs closet, nothing more than a sheet of unsecured osb board laying on a few trusses. I reached for my sunglasses … just a little further … maybe if I shifted my weight this way … CRACK! My fall lasted a few seconds and would have been worse had I not landed on the down stairs closet and temporary bathroom. Between the odds and ends and the broken osb right down the middle, I ended up with a few cuts on my wrist and a nasty gash down my back. Don’t worry, it all healed properly. I wonder whatever happened to those sunglasses.

Fast forward ten or so years. We’re at the point where we are securing osb board to our trusses. We were rained out yesterday, and a good thing too. I hadn’t realized I was afraid of the height until I was up there for the first time. I was slightly dizzy and the memory rushed back as I gripped the nearest truss tightly. I really wasn’t afraid of the height itself. I wasn’t afraid at the edge of our former quarry. I’m afraid of the fall. I’m afraid that the next time it will be worse.At the end of the day, I don’t have the luxury of just staying away because I’m afraid. I have to be up there helping to square the boards and to run up some more nails. That slightly dizzy feeling comes back every time I look down and see the concrete floor merely eight feet below me with nothing to break my fall.

Some fears can keep a person as a prisoner all their life. Some fears only rear their ugly heads at the most inconvienient of times. Some fears are irrational, and some fears are there for a good reason. The trick is to keep on moving forward, fearful or not. Staying put just isn’t an option.

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...Anyway, that's just how I feel about it ... What do you think?

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