Sometimes I don’t know where I fit in Christianity. It’s been that way for awhile now. As a single young woman who is barely a twenty-something, I’m too old for the college-age group. I’m not eligible for the other groups and I don’t really fit anywhere. It’s been the same problem in the last three or four churches … I’m a group of one.
I’ve heard the sermons over and over again ‘just in case’ God will introduce ‘the one’ in the near future, I know what role I’m expected to fill and what Bible verses support that teaching. Just as Christ loves the Church, my future husband is supposed to love me. Christ = Husband. Church = Wife.
That means somewhere out there, there’s a Christ who doesn’t have a Church. A Christ that’s supposed to be the initator of our relationship that’s doing anything but what he’s supposed to be doing. Sometimes the way this teaching is taught, the Church is supposed to call her Christ lord and Jesus Christ Lord. My Lord, where is my lord?
Perhaps you can see the problem I have with this whole teaching. It puts me in a position where I have no say over anything. As a single woman, I have the audacity to tell God that his plan doesn’t work for me. That I don’t want to be a wife just yet, that I don’t want to have a lord just yet, and that I don’t want to be that Church any longer.
That’s why I think they don’t know what to do with single people. After all, Paul was married to his ministry, but Scripture has no Paulettes. When they talk about singleness being a gift, they always emphasize “but it’s better to marry, let they burn with passion.” Which is why there aren’t any groups aimed at encouraging single people to take things one day at a time, follow God for that day, and to let everything else fall into place. No, the idea seems to be to create family outings (and invite the singles so that they have an example of proper Christian families), center mens and womens groups on being fathers and mothers (and invite the singles so that they have lots of good helpful advice when they get started), and do nothing but preach about the greatness of marriage being just like being a Christian. Marriages are okay, but Christian marriages are a far holier thing that God expects of everyone.
Something they’re doing must be working really well … I can testify that the last four churches I attended had no one else my age to hear these messages. Is it possible that the Church has it all wrong? That they are sending the wrong message and cannot see the dozens, the hundreds, and the countless thousands that leave the church every day because they no longer fit? What if the reverse message, that Jesus came to seek and save the lost … not for the lost to be saved they need to seek the church is what really needs to be heard. One thing I do know, the longer they keep up this teaching, the more people who don’t fit will flee from it. Quite possibly, I’ll be among them wandering and wondering just where I fit … where I was meant to belong.