In Memory

Sometimes Science-Fiction has the ability to put reality into perspective. At the moment, I’m thinking of two episodes of Star Trek Voyager: “Memorial” and “Remember”.

In “Remember”, B’Elanna Torres has these strange memories – of a forbidden love that sweeps her into a world in the midst of genocide. The victors erased all evidence of their guilt, but kept around a few memorials as an object lesson: “This is where the Regressives used to live, but they were stubborn and they didn’t like our technology, so we moved them to another world where they could live in peace. It’s a reminder to not be stubborn or backwards.” Voyager might not be able to make the perpetrators pay for their crimes, but at least they can uphold their principles not to support their actions or benefit from their evil. B’Elanna allows those memories to be shared to a young generation who were lied to about their history.

In “Memorial”, the entire crew begins to experiences flashbacks of a battle, the images are disjointed and out of order. They investigate how they could have been caught up in a war against their knowledge. Eventually they discover a memorial broadcasting those events is in disrepair and the battle they remembered had happened centuries ago. They question whether or not they should repair the memorial. Ultimately, they decide to restore it. The words carved on that monument say this: “Words alone cannot convey the suffering. Words alone can not prevent what happened here from happening again. Beyond words lies experience; beyond experience lies truth. Make this truth your own.

I can’t say that I’ve visited many memorials in all my years. I grew up in a state that didn’t see any Civil War action, so I’m neither a Yankee or a Confederate. There was this one memorial, it commemorated the death of a hundred and sixty eight men, women, and children when a guy detonated a bomb just outside of the building they were in. I’ve walked by the chairs, looked at my reflection the water, and stood beside the tree that survived it all. This is a recent history that gives an outlet for our grief.

I do know that somewhere out there is a statue with the name of one of my ancestors who had a connection to the Civil War. He fought on one side or the other, I don’t really know which. I can imagine two neighbors standing side-by-side as they have to figure out how to explain this statue to a child who might ask why it’s there:

“Well, there was a war a long time ago. It tore our nation in two. This man fought.”
“Did he fight to free the slaves?”
“Why yes, yes he did. This statue is here to remind us that the time is always right to do the right thing.”
“Actually, no, he fought for the other side – to preserve slavery. This statue is here to remind us that even if you fight on the losing side, you can still end up with a statue honoring you for killing your foes, fighting for what you believe in, and the status of a hero.”

I’ve never seen this monument, but I do know that not every memorial is ours. These outlets for grief have their time and place, for a mother mourning the loss of her sons who were spent on the battlefield, for a wife to take consolation that the loss of her spouse was for something. What it meant to them – it doesn’t have to mean the same thing to us. If somebody moved it somewhere else, it wouldn’t erase him or what he did. If somebody destroyed it, it wouldn’t alter history one iota. If somebody put it in a public place and explained it to everyone who passed by – it might make some sad and it might inspire others to pick up the banner and continue on where he left off – and that’s the chief worry; apparently justified by all the violence in recent weeks. But there are some who are too reverent to these southern heroes, who only wish to walk in their footsteps and to make our country into the image of greatness that was their time.

Knowledge of history is often written by victors, and it’s sometimes skewed. Details are chosen selectively to present an acceptable understanding. If we’re not careful, we might think the “Trail of Tears” was when the Native Americans walked to their new homeland and cried because they were overjoyed to be given the State of Oklahoma as their permanent possession. We might simplify complex wars to be about just one issue and paint the combatants with one broad brush stroke of “right” or “wrong”. We need memorials to remind us of the mistakes of the past and how they thought they were doing the right thing and it’s a mistake we can easily make today if we don’t know our history. So we must teach it in a way that puts as many nails into coffin of racism as humanly possible.

Maybe we can’t choose our memorials, but we can choose how we remember them and how we react to them. Since at this present time many who bow at the altar of racism are doing everything they can to keep these statues in public places – we have to find a way to learn from the past and rise above the selfish evil of anger and hatred. Let us make a new memorial and make it plain that racism is never the winning the side.

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A Biblical Justification of Racism and Slavery Exists – let us tear it down.

Christians, now more than ever before, have a duty to really examine the Scriptures and find the truth for themselves. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. I’d like to show you a list of what people said they believed that people said the Bible said:

Teaching: “Mark of Cain”
Story: Cain killed Abel, God cursed Cain and marked him so that he could live a long, cursed life and people would know to steer clear.
Application: When the Northern and Southern Baptists split over the issue of slavery, the Southern Baptists claimed that slavery was justified as the dark skin color of the slaves was the “mark” that they were meant to live as slaves. The idea that dark skin color was the mark comes from Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism.

Teaching: “Curse of Ham”
Story: The flood has ended, the family has left the ark and Noah ended up getting drunk on wine. Ham walks into the tent and realizes his father is naked. He goes and tells his two brothers, who drape a blanket across their shoulders and walk backwards into the tent – they did not see him naked. When Noah recovers, he curses Ham – saying he should live in servitude to his brothers.
Application: This teaching was popularly used to justify slavery when America was involved in the slave trade. They said that Ham’s descendants married Cain’s descendants – so they had dark skin and were therefore meant to be slaves.

Teaching: “The Tenth Commandment”
Story: Moses is revealing to the Israelites the ten commandments by which they will honor God.
Application: Since the commandment goes: ” “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant (that is “slave”), his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”” Christians are instructed not to covet another man’s slave, Christians are not forbidden from owning slaves.

Teaching: “You May Take Slaves”
Story: Moses is giving the Israelites further instructions.
Application: God permitted the Israelites to take slaves of their neighboring nations, but forbid the practice of making fellow Israelites slaves.

Teaching: “Mixed Marriages are Wrong”
Story: Ezra has just helped to rebuild the temple – now it’s time to rebuild the respect for the Law of God.
Application: The Israelites have gathered and admitted that they’re guilty of marrying foreign wives. In order to please God, they decide to send away (abandon) their wives and children.
Story: Nehemiah has just helped to rebuild the wall – now it’s time to rebuild the respect for the law of God. The book of the law is read aloud and everyone commits to obey it.
Application: The Israelites pledge, ““We promise not to give our daughters in marriage to the peoples around us or take their daughters for our sons.”
In both stories, part of the reason for the destruction of Jerusalem’s Walls and Temple is blamed on having had foreign wives – marrying the wrong race.

Teaching: “Paul Returns Onesimus”
Story: Onesimus is a slave who fled from Philemon’s household. Paul sends Onesimus back to Philemon.
Application: Paul couldn’t have thought slavery was wrong if he would return a runaway slave to his master.

Teaching: “Biblical Households have Masters and Servants”
Story: Paul writes to new Testament believers to tell them how to live as Christians, Children are to obey their parents, parents aren’t to exasperate their children, wives are to submit to and obey their husbands, husband are to to love their wives, slaves are to submit to and obey their masters, masters are supposed to love their slaves like a brother/sister.
Application: Since Paul establishes a believer’s household to have masters and slaves, then slavery must not be wrong.

These are probably some of the more famous historical justifications for slavery and racism in Christian teaching. You’ll find that deeply racist ideology is also deeply religious ideology as well. Christians who want to turn the tide against racism must first confront the Biblical justifications for it – even the ones that persist today. Churches must do better than being silent against this misinterpretation of Scripture; because God’s word is being used in this way to justify evil. Let’s get it right this time – or prepare ourselves to repeat history.

English As She Is Spoke

One day, a Portuguese-speaking man who understood very little English decided to make a phrasebook of spoken English. He had two language dictionaries at his disposal; Portuguese to French, and French to English. The result speaks for itself; translating idioms (idiotisms) like: “Strike while the iron is hot.” To “It want to beat the iron during it is hot.” And “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” To “A horse baared don’t look him in the tooth.” This very serious book – meant to help Portuguese speakers master English, is remembered as a comedic feat and a celebration of ‘earnest jest’. Because we’re so familiar with the English, we can see just how garbled the translation ended up being.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if the messages we have about Jesus are just as confused. There are a lot of considerations – our different cultures, our different languages, our different beliefs about the world around us and how we fit into it. It’s a small comfort to read that even Jesus’ own people misunderstood his reasons for being there. It’s so very clear to us that Jesus is the suffering servant, but they were looking for a coming king who would rally the Jews to overthrow their Roman occupiers. Lucky us.
We also have the benefit of thousands of years of this message to be distilled at our level – filtered through countless individuals from different cultures who helped form our theology. Some additions are so highly regarded we tend to believe that they were meant to be there – like the chapter and verse notations we use to help us argue back and forth. When Jesus gave his teachings and Paul wrote his letters, neither of them felt it important to begin a new section: “And now, moving on to chapter four, verse one …”
I don’t know – I guess the expectation weighs heavily. Waiting as long as it takes for Jesus to return again – in full glory and power, to bring our world to a close and our chapter in it to an ending. We will see God in all his majesty and wrath, destroying wholesale human populations who have angered him. It’s a different message than Jesus’ “The Kingdom of God is at hand.” Jesus message was simple, it was for anyone and everyone – it was offering hope and community. That is something I wouldn’t mind – but I just don’t see how the Bible can be interpreted to teach it as a timeless truth when we’re dealing with a bit of a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde God. Or as English as she is Spoke would put it: “Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.”

Realization

Once a monk made a request of Joshu.
“I have just entered the monastery,” he said. “Please give me instructions, Master.”
Joshu said, “Have you had your breakfast?”
“Yes, I have,” replied the monk.
“Then,” said Joshu, “wash your bowls.”
The monk had an insight.

Mumon’s Poem
Because it is so very clear,
It takes longer to come to the realization.
If you know at once candlelight is fire,
The meal has long been cooked.
— The Gateless Gate

candlelight

Christians have parables, Buddhists have zen koans. This one is the most famous – used from time to time in Stargate SG-1.

I’ve been feeling like I’ve walked into an empty room where the candle-light is out and the partially-eaten meal has long gone cold. There is a thick book on the table and I eye it suspiciously. I try to imagine what might have happened. Could they have started the meal, only to be interrupted and called away to an emergency? Could they have waited and waited – only to grow impatient and decided to eat anyway? Should I relight the fire and prepare myself a plate?

I think – no matter who we are and what we believe, we all seek something more. Different parts of the world have different teachings about what that more is. It’s not wrong to seek – because so very often those who seek eventually find what it is they are looking for – even if they don’t realize it at the time.

The Notebook

We were a bunch of unruly high school students – he was a high school teacher when he wasn’t our youth group leader. Having worked with us the last few years, he’d won our respect and we’d come to a reasonable understanding and generally got along well enough.

One day, he gave each of us a notebook. He told us how keeping a spiritual journal had really changed how he understood the Bible and he challenged us to keep one, too.

He taught us how to use this journal – it was simple:

  1. Write down the reference – the whole verse or series of verses as the case may be.
  2. List everything that stands out – explain to yourself why it sticks out to you.
  3. Summarize it and think about it’s application.

On the first page, he had one reference written out – it was the same in all the journals and it happened to be his favorite verse:

“… let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2

From there – we could take it in any direction. We could start with that verse, or choose another. I guess because I was already a blogger, I never really bothered to use that particular notebook as a journal. Not that I didn’t put it to good use from time to time. There’s a handful of verses from the Bible copied from The Message, several of Murphy’s Laws, notes from The Truth Project, sermons, and other Bible Studies, as well as the lyrics to “All You Need Is Love” translated into Spanish, and the quote about our deepest fear from Akeelah and the Bee among other things.

I never really thought myself as much of a writer to be able to keep a journal or a diary anyway. But as I was reading that verse – the part about Jesus being the author and perfecter of our faith stood out to me. Faith – well, it always seemed to be to be something I had because of something I do – like when I pray or when I read the Bible, then I strengthen my faith just as much as anyone who walks or lifts weights strengthens their body by exercising. It always seemed to take some effort on my part. I’d never really though of faith as something that Jesus writes and perfects without any input from me whatsoever.

Coming from a “doing” church – it’s always been important to be “engaged” or “plugged-in”. There’s always the nursery asking for help or something to cook or clean a soundboard or computer to run – it’s never really been about “being” in the faith. Since I’ve been out of the church and not “doing” for a while, it feels like my faith is running on an all time low. I wouldn’t even know how to learn how to “be” if it doesn’t involve some “doing” to get there.

And honestly – I’m more than a little uneasy about actually journaling the Bible, I tend to deconstruct the text and look for meaning in the shades and hues of cultural context and not just take it for face value – which generally is the idea; to just accept God’s word, inerrant, infallible, and profound wisdom, and go from there. A question like: “What kind of racing was Paul using as an example to the Ephesians?” can send me off on a tangent trying to understand the things that went unsaid and unwritten in a culture that understood each other that didn’t translate into English.

I did pick me up a brand new notebook – it’s a blank slate … but I don’t even know where to begin.

Dreaming and Believing

It’s been awhile since I could remember dreaming – perhaps that’s why I felt this one was disturbing because I wasn’t sure whether or not it was a dream. I think I was going about my every-day sort of tasks – I don’t really remember them very well, which is why I think it really was a dream. But at some point I thought to myself. “I no longer believe in God.” And I caught that thought and was really overwhelmed by it. I felt guilty and wanted to take it back – but a lot like popping a balloon – I was afraid that there wasn’t an undo option. That heaven would be off-limits to me.
This last year has been a big change for me. Compared to the previous ten years – it’s the most successful one I had. But with my schedule being pretty much just working, I’ve found it nearly impossible to to fit church in. Some weeks ago I was invited to attend a church – and the first three weeks after that it was nothing but working on Sunday mornings. This was the first chance i had had to not work on Sunday Morning, but the whole church thing has just fallen out of the routine. I had meant to listen to churches on the radio – but totally lost track of the time and missed them all.
But there’s also the issue of the churches themselves. The ones that there are to belong to are the ones we’re pretty sure we can’t belong to. We don’t see things eye to eye – they’re Calvinist, we’re Arminians (sort-of), They’re complementarians, we’re egalitarians, they’re into hymns, we’re into contemporary music. We’ve tried attending Calvinist churches, complimentarian churches, and hymn singing-churches and they never seem to work out for us.
So without a formal connection to God through the church, my spiritual disciplines have been on the decline. It feels like the’re a lot of pressure that’s just gone. And that’s really great. No more having to tear through Bible Studies that really aren’t about the Bible. No more having to try to remember the difference between the Sacrifice on the Mount and the Sermon on the Mount. And no more food allergy issues with pot-lucks.
I’d still like to believe that what I was taught as a little girl still applies: “once saved, always saved (no matter what).” I’d also like to believe that everybody has been elected to be saved. I hate to see how some Christians spit the words “sinner” out of their mouths as if they’re gleefully anticipating the horrors of Hell for the unsaved and lost souls out there. Jesus never seemed to be like that.
In speaking of the big guy, I find myself more and more wandering around and hoping I’m following in his footsteps than I am walking in the shadow of the established faith. I don’t know if the Bible ever really said that Jesus read the Holy Scriptures into all hours of the night – though it did say that he went to synagogue and prayed a lot. He seemed to advocate for a simple kind of everyday faith – not flashy or showy, not isolated into a sub-culture with it’s own language or media. Maybe I don’t believe the God of the Church that has been transmogrified by Christian culture, but I do believe in Jesus’ God and that’s all that I truly need.